Friday, March 26, 2010


We all sometimes face some questions that make us feel we've been on a stand. I do. And believe me, children's questions are tougher because those have to be answered.

1. What will happen if we run out of money?

Well, I tried to explain them that life is really hard. Money is important and should not be wasted but saved for future more important needs. "Remember when you want to buy a bicycle? We went to your auntie and asked theirs that is already in their storage. Just a little polish and you got yourself a bike without spending much money!" Talking about money matters with them, turned them a little bit resourceful and thrifty. They learned to share even in foods. A burger instead of two. And they feel good knowing that they had contributed.

2. You told us not to say bad words, why you?

I used to say in my kids that no one should say bad words including me. Well... from then on I tried to substitute some good words in bad words. "Please be quiet" instead of "Shut up". I now understand fully that cursing is very unattractive to everyone. Hey, we both had worked together to get out of that behaviour!

3. Are we safe from bad people?

There had been a robbery near our home and it's quite shocking. Someone had been murdered. I explained them that bad things really happens, but there are proper authorities, policemen, who will catch the people responsible. I find comforting them and giving assurance is of vital importance. "I'm here to protect you and I'll never let those incidents happen to us".

4. Is it OK to tell a lie?

If she is still below 5, the answer is NO. Further explanation will only confuse her. But to the older ones, we can explain that life isn't really 'by the numbers'. Sometimes it is fine, to avoid hurting the feelings of others. "Remember when we're in your cousin's birthday party? You didn't like the taste of the spaghetti but it is just OK to say it's fine. After all we really enjoyed the party."

5. Why did lola have to die?

Never tell them specially to the younger ones that dying is just sleeping or going a long trip. They might get afraid to sleep at night or get nervous when you get out of your house for work. Explain them that all of us die one day. Comfort them . Words like "We have great memories of lola even we can't be with her now".

For older kids, let their grief comes out. Asked them how they feel. Then say something like, "I know how much you miss lola... I do too". Our kids need to know that their sadness is normal and all of us are also going through the same thing.

Had you encountered questions quite like these? Or had you come up with a brilliant answers? I'm happy to learn from you. Feel free with the comment box below.

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